the Couchsurfer from Kalefornia

We're hosting a Couchsurfer. He looks like a cross between DFW and maybe Jesus. He's reading Infinite Jest, actually, and seems like he's got a bit of money to be funding this three-month trip across Ameriac starting in Berkley, and something about his intensity makes it clear that he is a pretty odd duck. Two nights ago, I took him to Four Star, we rented Wet Hot American Summer, a movie he mentioned he once had in absurdly heavy rotation back when he used to sell weed, and we drank a couple beers and he passed out at nine. The movie, which he claimed would "blow my mind", was alright.

Last night he made us dinner. It all started with two pounds of kale he got at the Farmers' Market and a little ingenuity or MSG or something, and it turned out like this:

lightly boiled kale and extra-firm tofu dressed in seasoned rice vinegar, toasted sesame oil, and something called "Bragg", a liquid amino sauce by which Couchsurfer Alex swears.

fake chicken patties (the Quorn kind, which is by far the best fake meat substitute thing out there. My understanding is that it's kind of made out of fungus.)

sauce made out of the leftover grease from the fake chicken patties, the juice of four oranges, some orange zest, and a pinch of spicy garlic sauce leftover from some Thai carryout

pardon the poor lighting quality, but I was too hungry at this point to care. Also, I do happen to like wheat beers a lot.